Big Bad Wolf, indeed.
"WHOSAN APEX PREDATOR? IS IT YOU? IS IT YOU? IT IS YOU!"
okay today i learned that apparently the penis has a say in whether or not a child will be a boy or a girl
female sperm swims slower than male sperm, but the males can’t swim for as long as the females. this means that a long penis will be closer to the egg when releasing the sperm, and there will be a higher chance for the child to be a boy.
so in conclusion
if you have a lot of sons you have a big dick
THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE POST
why test on animals when there are prisons full of rapists
because the prisons aren’t actually full of rapists
the rapists run free and the prisons are full of people charged with weed possession
when you and your friends see a hot person
The Breakfast Club, then and now.
This is amazing
originally this fact was just something I wanted to torment clare with but on further reflection I think everybody should know.
Lemieux = the better
Crosby = by the cross (because basically Jesus)
Gretzky = Greek nut
Patrick Kane = noble stick
Jonathan Toews = god’s gift x2
Evgeny Malkin = noble-born son-of-a-queen
Alex Ovechkin = defender-of-men belonging-to-a-female-lamb
Eric, Marc, Jordan, Jared Staal = eternal-ruler steel, warlike steel, going-down steel, went-down steel
Claude Giroux = lame spear-wolf
Henrik Lundqvist = rich-home twig-grove
Tyler Seguin = doorkeeper friend-win
David Backes = beloved bake-house (or beloved hunchback)
(disclaimer: in cases of multiple origins only one interpretation is shown here and it is not necessarily the academically correctest)
Temeraire Series: In His Majesty’s Service - Part 1
"If you would like to have your ship back," Temeraire said, "I will let someone else ride me. Not him, because he says things that are not true; but I will not make you stay."
Laurence stood motionless for a moment, his hands still on Temeraire’s head, with the dragon’s warm breath curling around him.
"No, my dear," he said at last, softly, knowing it was only the truth. "I would rather have you than any ship in the Navy."
-His Majesty’s Dragon by Naomi Novik
There are a lot of important Speak Now tour covers but this is the most important one, because “am i more than you bargained for yet”, because “i’m just a notch in your bedpost but you’re just a line in a song”, because “drop a heart, break a name”, because the pronoun change she makes isn’t even a pronoun change it’s “how i’m just dying to be him → how i’m just dying to be here”. SO IMPORTANT.
“Pew pew pew” -church interior designer
the thrilling saga in which Panic! owns the fuck out of WBC
"The man he faced was everything Obi-Wan had devoted his life to destroying: Murderer. Traitor. Fallen Jedi. Lord of theSith. And here, and now, despite it all…Obi-Wan still loved him."
- Matthew Stover, Revenge of the Sith